I can't find the words to express how heartbroken I am for you. Your experience with the animal hospital, sadly, is a common one and a larger systematic problem. I remember 10+ years ago I took a dog to the Pet ER and they sent me away because I didn't have any money on me, despite my pleading that I could bring a credit card in but in my panicked state I had forgotten my wallet - so focused on getting the dog help immediately. I could not believe a dog in urgent need of care was turned away. This dog could have died in the time it took for me to drive back to the house and they refused to let me leave her in their care while I went home for my wallet. I think you are bringing light to another topic that needs attention and that is the lack of financial resources available in emergency situations where time is of the essence and you don't have the time to set up a go-fund me account. It would be nice if hospitals could have some type of emergency fund (or a non-profit to create such a fund - this is something I would gladly support) for these type of situations. 10 years later I found myself at the Pet ER with my own dog and was in a financial position to put down the large deposit they required to see him, but I couldn't help but think of what would have been if I couldn't. He didn't survive even with treatment, so don't beat yourself up for not having the money to get to the ER. We all have "ghost" lives where we don't know what would have been but expect things to have turned out better if we had taken the other route. You did everything you could to save her, and clearly gave her a wonderful life. My sincerest condolences and thank you for sharing her story.